Vines and Thorns

“I fight the ones I care about”

No. That was not a typo nor was it a misquote. But let’s think about it for a second.

“I fight the ones I care about”…

It’s kind of funny when you think about it. Can you imagine claiming to love or care about someone and then fighting them at every turn? Well as much as it seems far fetched, it’s so true. People who true care about us have to fight us to get to us, make sense? If not, let me clarify. Let’s say you’re an explorer or better yet, you’re an environmentalist. You love the rainforests as if they were your own children. But let’s also say that you’re going into the rainforest doing research on a precious plant that is located in the heart of the rainforest. Now, we all know that there aren’t natural paths leading to what you’re there to get. No. Sometimes you have to grab your machete and hack away at the vines, thorns and overgrowth. You’d have to push your way through the things that get in the way at what you’re after: the precious plant at the heart of the rainforest. It’s like that with us. There are precious things about us all but some of us have allowed vines and overgrowth to make the paths to our heart harder and harder to find. Then there are others who keep those vines, thorns and overgrowth to protect ourselves and fight against anyone who tries to hack away at them. I know because I’m one of those people.

But what I’m wondering is why? Why do we continue to fight the people who are only trying to get to the wonderful parts of us? Why haven’t we let people in? Why do we continue to fight? I know for me, it was because I always won.

But what happens when you fight someone who is trying to get inside and lose? Do you continue to fight hoping that 2nd time’s a charm? Sometimes I grow tired of fighting people but I’ve set it in my head that it’s “necessary”. When is it ever necessary to fight people who are only trying to help us? Is it because we don’t need help?

Well the answer is yes. We do need help. We need God’s help. And we need the help of the people that He’s placed in our lives to fight our obstinacy and realize that we are precious and special and do not need to hide it from people.

So after saying all this, I challenge anyone who is reading this (thank you by the way ) to take what I said and use it. Open up to more people. Try your best not to fight people and ask God for His help and guidance every step of the way.

And if you’re a fighter like the ones I was mentioning before, I encourage you to keep fighting and stay strong. God will bless you and give you the strength to continue forward despite what lays ahead.

Till next time!

Pessimistic Much?

Hey friends,

So lately I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and self-evaluation and it’s been…interesting to say the least haha I mean, I’m not going to lie, it’s a painstaking process but you figure out a lot about yourself and sometimes you can catch something that could turn bad in the long run and turn it good. So bittersweet indeed. But, on a similar note, just recently I was talking to one of my friends online and the whole conversation started off with her saying that she “should have known” and that “it was all so obvious”.  So I asked her about it. I’m not sure on the specifics but we came to the conclusion that our circle of friends are all going through some amount of test or trial. And that got me thinking about what I know about tests and trials and about how they always have something better on the other side once the test or trial is over. I can’t tell you the joy that came over me because I thought about how my life would be once I was finished with this test. It was a little scary at first simply because of my thinking at the time but it was also far better than I couple possibly comprehend at that point in my life.

So with that being said, it amazes me how pessimistic people can be when they’re going through a hard time. Like I can remember on more than one occasion that I was grumpy or not doing so well and someone tried to encourage me. But I was took focused on the negative to allow myself to receive comfort and encouragement. I still do it sometimes. I’m not sure why though.

So I want you to take this away through the rest of your day. If you’re going through a hard time (test, struggle, trial…) remember that it will not last forever and the ending result will be brighter and better than your current situation. And allow people to encourage you! You’re feel better, trust me

Till next time…

A Realization…

I don’t even know where to begin.

So many things have taken place over the last couple day that have made me think and consider things that I normally wouldn’t. Nothing illegal or harmful, just things that I’m just now noticing in the lives of the people around me. So much distrust and jealousy. Me, being the person that I usually am, would just keep quiet but why? Why should I be silent when all of the things I’ve mentioned are tearing people apart? I know I probably don’t have the full story on anything but I know enough to gather that things are not good.

But “the night is darkest just before the dawn”, right?

“We may endure for a night but joy comes with the morning”…

“We will never know happiness if it weren’t for unhappiness”…

I believe that change is coming. And the people who know what I’m speaking of  should read carefully. Lay down your assumptions, forget your observations and perceptions and communicate with each other. We will never know any truth unless we talk with one another and consult God at every possible turn.

I came about this realization when just the night before, I was rattled with fear, doubt and worry for the hearts of my friends. Only until I was trembling and near panic did I realize that this was not God-given. God has not given us the spirit of fear but a spirit of love and a sound mind. When was the last time we realized that we were not meant to be fearful? I am absolutely furious that I have gone so long feeling fearful of the future and professing that God is in control when I was not walking in that truth. You should be furious as well. How dare we allow our enemy to have such control over our minds and our emotions? How could we just sit back and worry while Our Heavenly Father is looking down and weeping that we have not come to Him with our troubles.

Go to Him!

I implore you to go to Him! He will give you a peace beyond your understanding. He will ease all of your confusion.

Go to Him and I will walk right next to you . I have come to this realization and am determined to seek God out and retrieve that peace that has already been given to me through the blood of Jesus Christ our Lord.

Striving For His Peace,

Steven T. Sharpe

And Then There Was Another…

Hey guys! Here’s another one just as promised This one was written during Christmas time and I hope you like it! Feedback, feedback, feedback! Let me know what you think!

Dear Journal,
It’s been quite a while, friends! Lots has happened and I’ve just been so busy with what life seems to throw at me that I haven’t written any entries. It’s either that or the fact that I was trying to think of something to write which I often do.
It’s the Christmas season again and in honor of such a season, I’ve decided to not write about issues that I’ve seen and my take on them but tell you a story. Not a typical Christmas story in particular. Not a story on elves and Santa Claus and sleeping children but a story about a gift. A gift that was neglected with heartbreaking consequences. Now remember kids, this is a story but it’s also very true and has wonderful applications in this life for all of us. Okay, I’m going to stop rambling and get on with the story:

Somewhere in the northeast of the continental United States was a boy. Dorian Richards. A gifted young child with a loving family and wonderful aspirations for the future. God saw something in this boy long before he was conceived and set aside some special gifts to give to him. Then, when the time was right, God gave Dorian the gifts and watched as Dorian relished them.
One gift in particular was empathy.
Dorian used his gifts to help people along his life and never understood how he became so special or why he had these gifts. But, he continued to use them as they began to unfold his life and grow and strengthen. Empathy, however, was somehow very subconscious and didn’t make himself known until much later in Dorian’s life. God sat back; watching and waiting for Dorian to celebrate His gift to him.
But the celebration never came.
Dorian came to realize he had the gift by just walking by someone and feeling every pain and sorrow they had felt in their life. It shook Dorian to the core and made him afraid. So, slowly but surely, Dorian began to neglect his active empathy ability because he couldn’t control it. Some emotions would be so strong that he wouldn’t be able to escape and they would consume him. Dorian began to block out the emotions he was receiving in effort to control them. But little did he know that God had already made provisions. God had began to lessen the intensity of the emotions to Dorian could cope. But in Dorian’s effort to control, he ended up blocking out not everyone else’s emotions but his own. By the time Dorian realized what he had done, it was too late. The damaged had been done. He was no longer able to cry, feel any amount of sadness, pain of loss never took into effect, happiness became dull, love began to dwindle, but the most aggressive of the emotions, anger, still abound. Dorian tried everything to try to regain his emotions. He tried spiritual cleanses in effort to unblock what was keeping his emotions locked up. He tried forcing himself to feel which never worked. In a final attempt to feel again, he took up music. The passion of the notes and the flow of the music let the emotions fly! Dorian played and played until he couldn’t play anymore. He could feel again! But when he removed his hands from the instrument, the emotions faded and it seemed like all the color in the world had drained into a deep, dark void. Feeling helpless, Dorian fell to his knees and cried towards the sky, “Please! Bring it back! I can’t stay on my instrument for the rest of my life. Please let me feel again!”
But the emotions lay quiet and still.

And that’s that!
Wait. There’s something wrong? There’s no ending? Well of course there’s no ending. I told you that it was a true story and that it was heartbreaking. But don’t be sad or disheartened! This could be a good thing. Now everything is up to God! Dorian doesn’t control things anymore. He does! That should make you want to do cartwheels up and down the street because God can do the same thing for you!
Now I don’t know what He will do in Dorian’s case but I know what you can do. Don’t neglect your gifting because you can’t control it or because it doesn’t suit your life. It’s apart of your life and it will change your life if you let it. Dorian’s story isn’t far fetched. It can happen to anyone if they’re not careful. So my words to you, Reader, receive the gifts you’ve been given this season whether they are material possessions or spiritual. Because the gift is not more important than the Gift Giver.
Merry Christmas everyone!

Receiving His Gifts,
Jacob Rochester

Till Next Time…

Next Writing….

Hello everyone!

Here’s another from my previous writings. Please note that I’ve edited it just to make it flow better. I apparently was rushing on this one lol I hope you enjoy!

Dear Journal,

As I sit here, I wonder how in humanity’s thousands of years in existence that we still don’t have words for certain human emotions. I mean, language has come a long way from the seemingly mindless jabber of Old English to Middle English and down the line to Modern English of the 21st century. I’ve noticed that these ‘new emotions’ are sometimes a brew of multiple named emotions like sadness, mixed with a bit of fear, a dash of self-consciousness and a pinch of loneliness (just to name one concoction). And some are all new emotions never felt before. I have felt a mixture of both today. See I have been focusing a good chunk of my energy to the art of playing piano and learned a large list of some of my favorite songs. One in particular was quite difficult and I had finally gotten it! So with great excitement, I called over a man that I have held in high regard all my life, Richard Walt. When he had finally come over, I played the song for him. Now let me pause here a moment to explain something. See I have gone all my life trying to impress him and show him that I was pretty extraordinary. But I have only succeeded once in my life. And the funny thing is I don’t even remember what it was…Well I played the song for Richard and he asked me what the song was called. I told him. He responded by saying that he hadn’t heard of the song and as he was walking away, he passively says ‘it’s good’; in a tone that sounded like he was obligated to ‘compliment’ me. I was totally disheartened mixed with other nameless emotions. I should have expected it though. It’s happened hundreds and hundreds of times before and I’ve approached him about it a couple of times after I was completely fed up. But his response, while I was explaining my nameless emotions in mere words, was always that he didn’t understand. Even a couple of times I would be to the point of anger trying to explain while he sat there and brushed it off saying over and over that he didn’t understand. Like he wasn’t even trying. It’s been years. How could he not understand by now? Does he even notice that I work so hard to impress him? Does he even realize then he says these things that it’s only making my hard work look like nothing? I mean when is enough, enough? When will the ‘eureka’ moment come and show him my efforts over the years? When will he realize that I’ve lived my life to impress him?…..When will I realize that I’ve lived my life to impress him…It seems so obvious as I write this down but it’s taken me years to finally figure it out and admit it. I’ve lived my life impressing someone who can never be impressed by me…Why am I doing this to myself? Why do I keep coming from my defeated efforts back to the drawing board to start again? When will it end? This endless pursuit. How can I break the cycle? When will I learn that the approval of others shouldn’t be my constant pursuit? I just can’t seem to stop. I’m constantly setting myself up for this crash of emotions. When will it stop?…I’m in a state of shock on top of these other unnameable emotions at the fact that I’ve wasted most of my life trying and trying with no success. In this very entry I’ve finally come face to face with my issue and there’s no way around it like the other times. This calls for a deeper self analysis that will probably be greatly unpleasant. Hopefully this time I will finish this analysis. I’ve always bailed out and gave up because it was too painful to deal with everything I’ve tried so hard to stuff into my overfilled Emotional Issues Suitcase.
Once again I end this entry with more questions than when I started. I can’t believe I’ve gone all this time and never really stopped to look at the big picture. Like a wise man told me (Paul Davids), “even though you can’t see it doesn’t mean it still can’t hurt you” (paraphrased). I’ve always seen it happen to other people and never saw it in myself until now. I can’t even imagine what this new realization will change for me. Hopefully it will make me a stronger and wiser person in the end.

Constantly Searching,
Jacob Rochester

Once again, to repeat what I said in my last post, Jacob Rochester is not me. He is a part of me and his experiences are not solely mine. The situation above was a hybrid of situations with people around me coupled by my own knowledge Keep an eye out for my next one! I’ll post it tomorrow.

Till next time…